West End Divers is hosting the Third annual 

WINNER TAKE ALL - BASURA BOAT RACE

May 28, 2017 

The Golden Buoy Award, hanging in Reef Gliders Dive Center, our friendly competitors who have been keeping it dusted the past year.

The Golden Buoy Award, hanging in Reef Gliders Dive Center, our friendly competitors who have been keeping it dusted the past year.

 

 

With yearly regularity the School of Life (SOL) Foundation invites teams from the local dive shops and businesses to compete for the coveted Golden Buoy Award with hosted fundraising events, and culminating in the famous Roatan Dive Shop Olympics. Winning this month long contest is accomplished by a combination of raising funds, and scoring in the Olympics competition calculated in increasingly complex spiral algorithms, far too intricate to go into here.

For the third year in a row we at West End Divers are happy to host the Basura Boat Race.

                                                   

It's For The Kids!

This is all about the local community coming together to help the children of the island by helping to fund the SOL Foundation, and their good works. Anyone can help, and anyone can donate from anywhere. Just click on the the button and be generous. Be sure to add West End Divers in the "benefitting" field, our staff really wants to dust that ball for a year!

This year's race start time will be at 5:30 PM Sunday May 28th at West End Divers dock.

Like last year the start/finish line will be between West End Divers dock and Thai Place Island Cuisine Restaurant's dock.

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The Competitors

At this writing these are this year's competitors. This is by no means a closed field, anyone or team can enter.

Join the Fun, it's for the kids!

The Race Sponsors

The race is a community  effort and we couldn't do it without the help and generosity of our friends and neighboring businesses who have donated time, material and have opened their doors to the event. They are open year-round with great food, drinks, and entertainment. You deserve the experience.

Master of Ceremonies and Activities Coordinator

Once again the SOL Foundation's very own Program Director Mark Flanagan agreed to take on the responsibility of event announcements and program direction. He is literally our event designated driver as the rest of us stumble into various stages of after-work, and we thank him for his dedication.

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Free Event Parking

We all know how crowded it can get in West End and with parking space a premium it's just plain crazy to drive in and expect anything less than a huge traffic hassle.

Do Not Despair!

The great folks at the Thai Place Island Cuisine Restaurant have offered free event parking in their lot behind the Golden Star Market, which is right across the street from Frank's Cigar Bar, less than 100 meters from the event.

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Basura Boat Construction Rules

The boat must be built of containers - which must be beverage containers, emptied, and in more or less their original state. You can use any beverage container in any combination fulfilling these two requirements:

            1. It must be a container. ( cup, bottle, can, jug, jar, barrel, tank, Pepsi truck, railroad tanker car, and etc.)

            2. It must have contained a beverage.  (beverage = a fluid consumable by humans with less viscosity than Jif Extra Crunchy Peanut Butter)

            The boat must float by beverage containers alone - Anything can be used to stick them together, so long as it doesn't break this rule. 90% of the flotation must be from the used, empty beverage containers themselves. External framework or beverage container sealing material must leave a minimum of 1/3 of each beverage container exposed below the water line.

An external frame or bracing is allowed, and the basic frame above water may be of any material.

The boat must be naturally powered. Paddles, oars, sails, paddle wheels, hand turned propellers, and harnessed sea mammals are allowed. Gearing, and all mechanical devices using chemical/electrical/nuclear energy conversion for power transference are prohibited.

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Boat Construction Tips

Between races the West End Divers shipyard laboratories are busy with the development and testing of new designs and materials in Basura Boat technologies. A few files have been leaked to the public so we are inclined to share them here. Testing has shown that hot glue guns work well to bind plastic and aluminum containers together. Construction adhesives like Liquid Nails also provide durable stickiness, and extensive testing has shown that duct tape still works like duct tape.

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Race Entrance Requirements

Not just anybody can race.

1.  You and/or your team must be comprised mostly of humans.

2. You must have a boat built of basura according to the Basura Boat Construction Rules.

3. You must adhere to the 10 Bas-mandments.

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Prizes

Besides the fame, glory, and bragging rights associated with victories in  contests of such epic proportions, the winning team will also have all contest proceeds from the race day activities donated in their name towards the Golden Buoy Award. These include after expense proceeds from burger, beer,  jello shot, and locally famous 100 Lemp Green Eco cookies (if you know who to ask) sales. 

Also West End Divers is donating one of their notorious Blackwater Dives ($150 value) to each participating dive shop/team.

In addition the victorious race team will win the newly coveted Basura Boat Race Trophy designed to be displayed proudly, and kept dust free for the following year. After which it will be passed on like a Christmas fruitcake that never dies, to the next year's winner.

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Judging

We are just puckered to announce that some of the village's foremost self-ordained experts on sea lore, and general things aquatically competitive have agreed to officiate this year's Basura Boat Race. local dive legend Mickey Charteris, who has spent more time under water than most shipwrecks, and Dave Elmore whose baseball addiction has led to untold umpirical experience in sporting contests, have agreed to judge this year's race.  We are confident than in the case of a photo finish, that their combined intellects will be able to ascertain a winner.

The rulings of the judges will be considered final. No amount of whining and crying, pissing and moaning, stamping your feet and tearing your hair, or sniveling and well, sniveling will affect a change on their decision. So, get your bribes in early.

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Race Logistics

This year’s race will be conducted between West End Divers dock and The Thai Place Restaurant’s dock on the ocean side of Bistro on the Bay.  The start/finish line will be strung between the end of the Thai Place’s dock and West End Divers dock

Boats may be staged at any time of race day in the area behind (east) of the starting line.

Best water access is probably off of West End Divers dock at the boat lift. There will be a platform provided for ease of use.

Basura Boats must be in the water prior to race time. The gun goes off at 5:30 sharp! (Please note: A general consensus was reched that maybe a gun wasn't a great idea. The start signal will be a red safety flare).

Basura Boats may be staged on floats, barges, other boats and the like (should prolonged exposure to water be an issue) but must cross the start/finish line unaided.

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Race Course

The race course will go from the start line due west and anti-clockwise (left, like NASCAR) around the large white buoy, and back due east across the finish line.

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The 10 Bas-mandments

1.     Thou shalt enter the event in the right spirit. 

2.     Thou shalt build the craft of Basura. 

3.     The craft shall float by Basura alone. 

4.     Thou shalt not drown. 

5.     Thou shalt not take the name of the craft in vain: any craft bearing signs or lettering that may be offensive will be barred. 

6.     Thou shalt not drift from the straight and narrow and end up at Utila. 

7.     Thou shalt not protest too much. 

8.     Thou shall honor thy Judges. 

9.     Thou shalt not commit adultery – nothing really to do with the Race, but it gives us a false air of responsibility and respect. 

10.  Thou shalt go back and read the first Bas-mandment again.

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DISCLAIMER

Please note that we are unashamedly plagiarizing text and ideas from the Darwin Lions Beer Can Regatta.

Thanks mates!